During their travel on the Paths of the Dead, Gimli finds comfort and more in Legolas. Really, the world needs more Legolas/Gimli. Especially good Legolas/Gimli! This one qualifies. It's not perfect -- for one thing, I really wish she'd spell "Dunedain" correctly -- but it's well-done, doesn't fall into the "oh poor dumpy me, how could an elf love me" trap. Both characters are themselves, the imagery is lovely, and the emotions flow well. Leaves you with a nice, warm feeling. The formatting's a trifle annoying -- there are single line-returns between paragraphs instead of double -- but there's rarely a doubt as to who's speaking, because they each have distinct voices.

In short, nicely done.

On the author's site; damn LJ won't let me put the link in the title, 'cause it's too long.



I've noted a rather appalling preponderance of orcs on this thing, so I'm posting an Aragorn, just to be even. Yes, I do like some fic! -G- And this was one of the first ones I liked. It's not much on the surface -- just a bit of Aragorn POV on a Sam/Frodo relationship -- but it's very nicely done. No peeping-tom spying, just the character on guard watching out for them. I like that Aragorn muses a bit on what their relationship means to them, how it may help them in times to come, and how the whole thing makes him feel; it's a very nice and believable thought process. There are maybe a couple places where I can't quite grasp the meaning of a gesture or two, but by and large it's a picture well-painted.

I also love the bit with Gandalf and the pipe. Very cute, very Gandalf.

Hm. Haven't mentioned her use of language, have I? There's a reason for that -- it's good! After that last one... rereading this was a real pleasure. No misplaced punctuation, misspelled words, or bizarre constructions; very nice visualisation of a quiet, dim evening. Language in service of the story and supporting it, just as it should be. There is one point where I had to read the sentence twice: the phrase is "that thought was not just to those who had found one another", and my first reading had me going, "Not just what? ... oh, I see." Just a momentary glitch, though, and really the only thing language-wise to criticise here. Well, "dottle" is a really funny word, but that's not the author's fault. If Tolkien will have them smoking pipes... -g-

So yep, an Aragorn. Short and sweet, not much to it, but it's got too much weight to be fluff. Thumbs up.

Posted to LXF.

Well, let's start with the obvious: commas, semi-colons, and apostrophes. They're your friends. They like you. Please, use them! Run-on sentences galore, words that look plural but ought to be possessive...gah! Also: spellcheckers are Good Things. No, they won't catch everything, but they will catch some of the errors.

At the story level... I still don't get Elrond/Legolas, and this story doesn't help convince me. Elrond had loved Legolas ever since he met him? Why, when Legolas is being an ass when they meet? What makes him fall in love? What makes Aragorn (yes, it's also Aragorn/Legolas)? We hear they're in love, but we never see why or how. Which may have something to do with the fact that this is apparently a WIP, though the first time you find that out is when you get to the bottom and it says "To be continued................." (I won't even go into the egregious use of periods here and elsewhere in the story). It may also have something to do with the fact that this story is extremely poorly constructed, to the point of saying, in the middle of the prose, "End Flashback". If you have to tell us, there's something wrong.

Well, actually, there's more wrong than just that. Elladan and the Rivendell guards don't recognise Aragorn's voice? Elrond goes from Rivendell to Mirkwood without guards and without telling anyone he'll be showing up (that's not "a sign of peace", that's "suicide")? Thranduil hits Legolas? An entire squad of orcs can sneak up on Legolas and Aragorn?

Unless you're a real glutton for punishment, I would stay away from this one.

Frodo/Gandalf, set in "Lothlorien, yes really" as the author says.

A pleasant surprise, but not an outstanding one. No actual sex, so it doesn't get into the logistical problems, and the love is nicely played. Plenty of real feeling. And she does a very nice job at capturing Sir Ian-as-Gandalf's speech patterns. The story as a whole is a bit melodramatic, a touch overdone even for me, but doesn't fall into absurdity. I could do without the several mentions of Frodo's smallness, but it's more a problem of overdescriptiveness than of infantilisation -- his wooly, curly hair is mentioned more than necessary, too. The hobbit-as-child motif (which seems to be rife in hobbit/big person slash) only pops up a bit in that Gandalf picks up Frodo, Frodo sits on his lap, etc. And since I see this done with slash where the partners are the same size, it may just be that it's something that bugs me in general. Good grammar, spelling, etc; nothing there that interferes with the story in any way.

I'm not sure what about this story makes me not give it an Aragorn; partly the pairing, maybe, partly the almost-but-not-quite OTTness of it. It isn't really an amazing piece, but it was pleasant.

Posted to LXF.

There's a couple good ideas here, but the execution doesn't live up to them.

There's a lovely bit of imagery -- Dwarves connected to the earth, Elves to trees, earth and trees interdependent -- that is nice, but doesn't quite work. And I like the bit about Dwarves honouring their dead by carving their names into their mines, but...um... yo, Balin's tomb? Already done. Gimli compares Galadriel to starlight, Legolas to sunlight; nice idea, but see "my love is given to the morning", RotK.

The grammar is hit-and-miss, the story's internal consistency and consistency with canon could definitely be better, and the characters' emotions careen all over the place for no discernable reason. Other than Legolas and Gimli, the only "on-screen" characters are Merry and Sam; they appear for half a sentence, and Sam still manages to be out of character.

That takes talent, I suppose.

Well, I thought the "religion in Middle Earth" rant was going to come next, but then flambeau ranted about "you and I", and my grammar bug bit. So here's part one, because I know there will be many, many more parts to come. These rants are in no way meant to be comprehensive; I'll pretty much just be riffing on things as I see them come up in stories.

Certified Grammar Bitch

Yes, I'm a Certified Grammar Bitch. I firmly believe that language is meant for communication and that if you want to communicate with other people you must share a common language. This means that everyone uses the same words and rules. If they don't, it gets confusing, annoying, and counterproductive. And really, English can be confusing and annoying enough all on its own; it doesn't need any help.

And yes, that's its own.

Its/It's

This difference is confusing, because generally the 's shows possession. However, here (as in contractions like don't and can't), the apostrophe shows that there is a letter missing. In this case, the i in is. "It is" is contracted "it's". Instead of thinking of "it" as being a name, think of it as a pronoun, like "her". Just as "her" becomes "hers", "it" becomes "its" -- with no apostrophe.

The Hobbit's What?

And speaking of no apostrophe... An apostrophe indicates that a letter has been left out of a word. Either in a standard contraction -- hasn't, wasn't, won't (okay, so that one's weird) -- or in dialect (a rant for a different day) -- livin', lovin', feelin' fine. It can also, when added to a noun, indicate possession: Frodo's, Sam's. When a word ends in an s, there's some disagreement on what to do, depending on when and where you went to school; as long as you pick one, you're probably safe: either Baggins' (an apostrophe after the word) or Baggins's (an apostrophe and s after the word). But not, never, Baggin's. That s is already a part of the word, and there's nothing missing there. The possessive gets added after the end of the word, not in its middle.

If you're not leaving out letters or forming possessives, put down the apostrophe and back away slowly. An apostrophe is never used to form a plural. Just because it's got an s, doesn't mean it needs an apostrophe. If you write "hobbit's", you better follow it with something belonging to a hobbit. If you want to make that word plural, add the s. Then if you want to make it possessive, add your apostrophe (and s if that's your bag): hobbits' or hobbits's. All right?

Twowords

Yes, that's "All right". Which is always -- always -- two words. "Alright" isn't.

Nor is "eachother". These words do not cling to each   other like limpets. Nor does English form compounds as readily as other Germanic languages.

At least, not anymore. Which can be one or two words if it refers to a time, but if you say that Pippin doesn't have any more ale than Merry does, it needs to be two words. And it never, ever starts a sentence.

And just between you and me...

Back to what brought this on. If you've ever taken German, Russian, Latin, or any other language, you know what a case is. In some languages, you have to use different forms of words in different places in a sentence. Well, English used to do this too, and it still does sometimes. I/Me is a good example: when it is the subject of a sentence, you use I. When it's the object (of the verb, of a preposition), me is the correct form. "You", however, doesn't change; it's the same no matter where it is.

All those teachers telling you never to say "you and me" meant (or should have) when the words were the subject. "You and I belong together." But when these words are the object, the correct form is "you and me". (In the heading of this section, "you and me" is the object of the preposition between.) He showed his sword to you and me. He gave you and me gifts. He hit you and me about the head and shoulders for thinking these sentences are incorrect.

But don't take my word for it.

If you want to get things right (and let's face it; if you don't, you probably haven't read this far), there are numerous resources available. A dictionary's always a good place to start, but it may not tell you enough about the use of words.

A book like Fowler's Modern English Usage is a good investment; it'll clarify the difference between assure, ensure, and insure, and tell you the changing uses of "anymore" as one word (what, you think I knew this all by heart?). It's a bit conservative in what it calls proper usage, but if you're writing Tolkien, that's probably a good thing.

If you're not quite up to wading through dense text, or you need more grammar help than just word usage, there's a really cool and very helpful book called The Deluxe Transitive Vampire: The Ultimate Handbook of Grammar for the Innocent, the Eager, and the Doomed, by Karen Elizabeth Gordon. (And hey, if anyone's buying me presents...)

There are also quite a few helpful sites online, from slash-fandom peeve lists to professional writers' guides. Torch lists quite a few on her site, and other writers have their own lists. Find a writer you respect, and see if they have links or ask them what resources they use. Sometimes word of mouth is the best way to find things. Just please find something.

It's a linguist's world, after all, that you're writing in.

Frodo/Sam, hints of Merry/Pippin. (posted to LXF, not yet archived) Set post-quest in the fields of Cormallen and Minas Tirith; Frodo, Sam, and their friends try to deal with the aftermath of the War.

Hm. Not entirely sure what I think about this one. Some of what she does is very good: Frodo feeling he needs and deserves pain, the idea of escape from Middle Earth being as much curse as blessing, the support of friends, the idea that helping another's pain helps your own. Some of it just isn't, and most of that's the dialogue. When characters start talking, they often sound a bit stilted, their voices either over-flowery or with their regional speech patterns overdone, or just "speechifying" for far too long. I'm also not fond of modern clinical methods applied to other cultures -- despite how often folks in Middle Earth do talk about their feelings and experiences, they're still far too stoic to believe in "talk about it and you'll feel better". There's also a mercifully brief bit of Sam/Aragorn that I still don't understand the purpose of and would be happier without. And I do wish people would stop toting hobbits about like children -- Frodo and Sam, even half-wasted-away, are a bit bulky and heavy for Gandalf to be lifting them both at once.

Spelling and grammar could use a bit of sprucing up style-wise, but are technically correct and don't distract from the story. Some of her imagery is very good, and she conveys emotion well, especially given that this is a tricky time during which to portray the fellowship, Frodo in particular. His survivor guilt is well done. She also doesn't neglect the rest of the folk in favour of her slash pair; she shows how they relate to Frodo and Sam, rather than isolating the hobbits, which is quite nice.

So, on the whole, it's middling, I suppose, but not because it's mediocre. Some quite brilliant bits, interspersed with some rather annoying bits, held together with perfectly fine and adequate bits. I'll probably read it again, but I'll probably skip over huge chunks of it.

Fourth in a series I keep skimming through because damn it, I want some good Aragorn/Boromir! This is not it. First-person Boromir POV, and the voice doesn't really "sound" like him. Much of it doesn't even sound like anyone's internal voice -- nobody I know talks like that, especially to themselves.

Grammar and punctuation aren't perfect, but aren't bad overall, either. But please, please -- put line breaks between your paragraphs! The reader shouldn't have to guess where one ends and the next begins! (And as a side note on legibility: the index page for the fiction on this site is eye-bleeding and incredibly hard to read. Blue links on a light neon background are probably not the best design choice in the world.)

My biggest problem with this story, however, is one I'll deal with in general in a rant I feel coming on very shortly. To get specific on this story: GONDOR HAS NO CHURCH. GONDOR WORSHIPS NO GOD. And if you made this story accurate using what we know of Gondor's "religion" and culture, none of it would work. Is there a way to believably portray Gondorean culture as homophobic? I have no doubt. So make an effort, please. Gondor is not, in any way, shape, or form, medieval Europe. You can't take the cultural beliefs of one and map them onto the other with no change.

Well, you can, but then it's lousy fanfic.

Frodo/Sam/Rosie, in numerous permutations.

I'm not terribly into threesomes. I don't really enjoy het. I never particularly "got" Rosie or was interested in her.

Doesn't matter. This series rocks. Are there problems? Yes. Each story generally has a couple grammar or spelling quibbles. Rosie comes off as a touch too perfect, too Mary-Sue-ish for my taste at times. The continuity of Frodo's illness wobbles a bit from story to story. But I love the way Mary's given every kid and relative an actual personality, the way she deals with the ups and downs of life. These hobbits live and breathe, and there's a lot to say for that.

The author often uses fairy tales from our world, but she manages to make them work as stories hobbits might tell. Sometimes the correlations between the stories and the hobbits' lives are a bit too explicit, but that's only a minor problem. And the stories she comes up with or adapts herself also have some lovely imagery.

And in the end...there's much very well-done wounded!Frodo, and I'm a slut for that. Hey, I adore angst, and this story's got it in spades. The good days are more poignant because they're so few, and the bad days are heart- and gut-wrenching, just as they should be.

There are two endings to the story, but neither is an "easy" ending, neither entirely happy or a cop-out. And stories are still being written to fill in some of the spaces, by both Mary and other authors, who have also done nicely so far. If you haven't checked out this series yet, hie thee hence and do so!

Elrond/Aragorn. (posted to LXF, not yet archived) The author puts spoiler space before the pairing and hides it using epithets for half the story, but I really don't know why, as nothing is spoiled by knowing who Elrond's lover is.

This is a pairing I've wanted to see done well for a while now. It has the potential to be very interesting, or very icky, or just dumb, depending on the author. CD hits interesting, luckily. It's a short story, so there's not really any Issue made of potential father/son issues, but their behaviour towards each other is a decent mix of elder-to-younger and lover-to-equal. And Arwen is dealt with...well, I'd quibble a teeny bit, but mostly she's dealt with very well.

Grammar, though. -wince- Several problems with punctuation. A bigger problem with words that don't mean precisely what she wants them to, though they come close enough you can grab her meaning. Transitive verbs used intransitively, commas missing or added needlessly, that sort of thing. Not enough to make me stop reading, but enough it was very annoying.

Despite the occasional problems in English, though, her Elvish is lovely! Good use of both Elvish names for everything and Elvish endearments: if you know the language, they add to it, and if you don't, you don't have to look it up to enjoy the story, because you get enough from context. But really, please, there is no need or call to have an asterisk after every single instance of it! It really just distracts from the story itself. A note in the header to the effect of "translations of Elvish given at end" would be sufficient and much less intrusive.

And she does get points for language usage in that she's trying very hard to use a dense, imagery-laden style that works well with the subject, and succeeds a good deal of the time. She has some cliches and some unusual expressions that are used very well, and others that don't work. Ditto the structure of her story. Love conflicting with duty is a classic dilemma, and there's little new in the way she deals with it, but my god, what a pleasure to see someone acting (mostly) like an adult when faced with it! Extra special kudos for not going with the slash cliche that bugs the hell out of me, "if I lie, it'll save his feelings".

Ends a bit abruptly, as if it cuts off before the sex scene just so there won't be a sex scene; it really could have used something to pull it together at the end and finish it off.

So, no Aragorn, no Orc, but an author I'll probably keep a curious eye on.

Date:	2002-07-12 00:55
Subject:	Here we go!
Security:	Public
Mood:	hopeful

Okay, so I know I've really been lax in the last several months, not keeping up with my rants and recs and such. What this journal is supposed to do is give me incentive to post a bit more often, since it's nice and easy to use. Plus, folks can keep an eye on it without having to go to the page all the time. What it's not intended for is to actually replace the site -- I'll be updating it to include all the recs posted here, ideally about once a week.

As an added bonus, I'm leaving comments enabled for all here. Agree with me? Disagree? Bit of both? Have at it! I love a good fic discussion, and like hearing alternate points of view. Honest debate will be answered and encouraged; flames will be mocked and/or deleted.

Hope you enjoy!